A happy marriage is the main goal for all engaged couples and newly weds. But what happens when the excitment goes away and real-life marriage struggles occur?
I’ve been reading Jen Weaver’s new book A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. I have to tell you ladies, it was eye-opening, refreshing and an absolutely needed reminder of what a happy marriage entails!
So let’s talk about her amazing book and how to balance a happy marriage.
A Happy Marriage
If you’ve been married for a while, you know how difficult marriage can be. Disagreements, financial burdens, children, lack of time for each other…It gets tough and sometimes we find ourselves wondering what to do next.
Now if you’re a new wife, you might be in the amazing-still-smitten-honeymoon phase and that’s fantastic!! I pray that you read my thoughts here, buy Jen’s book, and keep these gems close so you stay in this place of happiness!!
As Jen says in chapter 1…”marriage is more than a ceremony”. It truly is. It’s a lifetime commitment, promise, and journey. And it can also be HAPPY! I have been married for almost 7 years…so maybe I’m not the expert yet. But I have seen and heard of plenty of marriages that make it all the way…decide that yours will be too!
Having a happy marriage is the key to having a long marriage. We live in a time that when you become unhappy, you find replacements instead of working on the issues. What I love about Jen’s approach in her book is that she takes it all back to God’s vision for marriage! I believe this is the true key to a successful and happy marriage!
It Takes Work
Many people say marriage is 50/50. WRONG!! Marriage needs to be 100/100! With that I will say there are times when it will be 80/20 because one of you will need extra love and support! Be that for your husband and allow him to be that for you when needed. And then get back to the 100/100 model!
When you are in such a close relationship with someone, you have opportunities to bring out the best or worst in that person. Decide which one you want to do. I’m guessing you want to bring out the best! So let’s always remember that! Each day remember that you have the power to encourage, love, and support your husband in a way that will lift him up. And in return, he will most likely learn to lift you up the same way. Jen shows us how to stir up love and see our husband for who he is.
Since we’re all different, marriage comes with arguments and rough seasons. Know that you’re not the only couple to struggle! And know you can get through and come out stronger together! Identify the problems, compromise and find a solution and work together to achieve happiness! When you decide to marry someone, you are promising to be best friends…so be best friends!
How to Balance Life and Marriage
When you get into life, marriage gets harder to focus on. Maybe you start careers, have children, move, or even go back to school. Wherever life takes you, marriage can get pushed to the back burner. We assume it will just balance out and take care of itself. Again, WRONG! Marriage needs effort, time, and nurturing.
Children make our lives busy – especially as moms! In the busy-ness of life remember to make time for each other. It’s important to go on dates, show affection, and have time away from the kids. Plan weekend getaways, remember special dates, and celebrate your love just because!
Another piece of our life that tends to get in the way is our career or business. While taking care of your family financially is important, it’s crucial you and your husband remember that your marriage is important too, actually more important! So while you spend hours working, remember to also spend as many hours as possible with your spouse. Remember to create memories with each other and experience life together!
One of the best ways to grow together is creating goals together. Sit down a few times a year and discuss what you want in life. For your selves, your marriage, your family, your life! Create goals and plans together and stay on each other’s team!
Creating Your Happy Marriage
I mentioned that my honey and I are coming up to our 7 year anniversary in July…we’ve been together for 13 years!! We have 3 beautiful daughters, amazing memories, and goals for our future. Life is busy, but we choose to make a happy marriage. Learning how to love each other is important, being able to communicate is necessary, and knowing that we must always have God at the center is the secret!
Here are the 3 top takeaways I got from A Wife’s Secret to Happiness:
- God was not a guest at our wedding, he was part of the promise
- I need to look at my husband as a gift from God
- Our marriage has purpose, I need to open my eyes and heart to living that purpose with my honey
I HIGHLY encourage you to read this book and implement Jen’s ideas on creating a happy marriage! This is not a practice run, it’s the real deal. Let’s change the game and start making marriage a forever kinda thing! And when we feel alone, we can read the pages of this book and remember God is ALWAYS there.