Has motherhood replaced YOU?

I remember the short time I was a single adult. Right out of high school I started community college and two jobs. I was a cheer coach and an event planner. My days were full with a class early in the morning, event planning work all day, and cheer practice every evening. Let’s just say my Starbucks habit started around this time too 🙂 But I loved every minute of my life!

Even with all I had going on, I still had time and energy to hang out with friends and enjoy life! Fast forward a few years and baby #1 came into my life. The most beautiful 6 pound 6 ounce bundle of joy was placed in my arms and my lifelong dream became a reality! Motherhood!

I knew from a young age I wanted to be a mommy. I loved babies and I loved the thought of raising a baby and creating that magical bond. Motherhood was going to be my thing!

And so it was!

Just 18 months later baby #2 came along and just added to my wonderful life! I was no longer going to school or coaching cheer, just event planning and baby raising!

Over the next few years my life was about being a full-time event manager who planned lots of events and traveled all over the country all while raising 2 girls, helping with homework, driving them to dance classes, cooking, cleaning, and being a loving and attentive wife.

Without realizing it, I lost my time, my energy, and my “self”. I was still happy. I still loved being a mom. I still loved my life. And I didn’t realize what was missing until my life took an unexpected turn.

When I got rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 26, life changed a lot. I had to learn to say no to people, plans, and projects. I had to learn to ask for and accept help from friends and family. I had to learn to take care of myself first and let my husband and kids learn to do things without my help. I had to learn how to manage my time because I only had a small amount of energy available before I had to stop and rest.

In the process of learning how to do life with the limited mobility and strength I had, I realized this new journey was helping me discover who I really was. It stripped off my supermom cape, amazing wife hat, and the go-to girl title for everyone I knew! Who was this new woman?

It was just ME!!! No fancy capes, hats, and titles. Just Lisa.

Many people get diagnosed with a disease, illness, and/or other type of limitation and immediately go into depression, negativity, and self-pity mode. That’s just not my style! I truly love life and know that my mess is my message and everything can be turned around for the good!

Was it tough – YES! Hell yes! There were days I cried and just prayed for things to go back to normal. I wished I could just jump up and go every morning, run with my kids again, and have the energy to do it all.

RA was my reality, though. And I had to create my “new normal”.

One thing that has never changed about me is that I AM STRONG. I used to be physically strong, but I’m also very emotionally, mentally and spiritually strong. And these strengths pulled me through a tough couple of years! I decided to take on the challenges and changes of RA. I decided to create my “new normal”. I decided to take it all as an opportunity.

This was an opportunity for me to become MYSELF again! I finally saw that I didn’t need to hide who I am from my husband, kids, and others thinking I needed to be their personal hero. I was not giving them my full potential and love because I wasn’t fully being me.

The truth is we get lost in motherhood.

So how do we find ourselves? Sorry to say there is not just one way. This journey is different for everyone. Mom guilt creeps in and tries to stop us. But it does start with the decision to find YOU again. 

Can you decide today to make this a priority? Can you promise your husband, kids, family, and friends that you will give them your best by being your best self? Can you promise yourself that you are amazing and have a gift to share with the world? Can you decide to love yourself?

Decide.

Decide you are going to be your best self from now on. Decide you are going to be true to your values. Decide you are going to be the bright light you are in the world. Decide you are going to live on purpose. Decide you are going live free!

When I work with clients or just talk to someone new, this is always the first step. Decide. Then start your journey to discover who you are. Again, this path will be different for everyone. This can be done through a course, book, church, support group, coach, mentor, retreat…but just remember that no matter which path works for you, the true answer is already in you. The outside support just helps guide you and bring out what you already have! You are already amazing, you already have your special gifts, and you are already YOU! So don’t try to find out who you are by looking outside for answers. Just seek support for guidance, support, love, and encouragement.

Take a moment to look around wherever you are right now. How does life feel? Are you constantly stressed, frazzled and overwhelmed?

I encourage you to become aware of what your life looks like right now and how it affects the person you are. Start thinking about what would feel better for you. Grab a journal and write down some goals and dreams. Write down the kind of person you want to be. Get in touch with your values and needs. What makes you truly happy. You as the woman, not you as the mom, wife, friend, daughter, PTA president…

If you need some help finding out more about yourself, download your free workbook –  The Ultimate Guide to a Fab MomLife!

You are beautiful. You are enough. You are perfectly YOU! Let’s get to know you better <3

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